I’ve been proving that I can and can handle it. Be first or different. Stand out from others after something. Great in high school, it didn’t have to work mature. The president of the students at Electro school. I got married while I was studying, because my husband and I thought it was good to get a vacation for the wedding, because he was a soldier at the time. We didn’t buy the rings because we thought we didn’t need it. Even now, after more than thirty years of marriage, we don’t have any. I’ve chosen a business costume for the wedding.
I was the first engineer in the development of the production company, and I had to prove that I had no only engineering skills, but I can also use a drilling machine to drill a hole in a printed circuit that I planned for myself for my first Innovation – a microprocessor-controlled, defeat-time meter. I got a municipal prize for innovation.
I was the first in the company of friends who began to learn the board, the first one that jumped with a parachute, the first one that started SUPati and the like. Being the first and something extraordinary was always my important motive. And I was successful. Well-known director of the established computer company, and in addition to the mother – just as it is fitting, first son, then daughter.
After three of the director’s mandates, I decided to do something different to say goodbye to a successful company and start building my second career. I had no idea what this was going to be. That was strange, too. Usually people do not leave positions where they are doing well and are being deployed into the unknown. But I wanted to prove that it was possible. It really worked out well, I got quite a few invitations, and I decided to be an international company where I became the Director of competence development. Of course, first of all, I had to develop this role. I was successful again.
Then one day I received an invitation to come and rescue the company from my hometown. Of course, as first director, first president of the administration, and above all as the first crisis manager. The company was in losses, there were a few steps ahead of bankruptcy. The heart immediately ruled, though my intellect – but not just mine – dictated differently. Just in the days when I became the first President of the administration of this company, it entered into force the novel of the Companies Act, which provided that the responsible person of the company, who goes bankrupt or forced to settle, is a few years after that he cannot become a director in another company Not even to set up your own business. This meant that in the event of failure, I would remain not only without a job, but also without a profession.
With me, the first computer came to the office, and it was not in this office until then. But it was a minorni part of the problem. I knew there was a lot more trouble for me. But I was sure that I could do it again to show again and prove that it can be a reversal.
For two years I fought all the fights and managed to do some important shifts, but the company’s solutions were not. Actually, after the first year, we’re going to make it. We had a foreign investor, a signed notarial agreement on the recapitalisation of a company with which the investor would become a majority owner, voted group conclusions on recapitalisation, but promised money was not. That was a big shock To me. For some time I believed the apology, then the pronunciation of the investor and finally realized that I lost this battle.
I lost the battle, but no war. I started again and tried to save the state aid company. It looked feasible at first, but things started to complicate and complicate. After a few months of complication, I knew deep down in myself that I had exhausted all the possibilities to solve the company so I can only hope for a miracle. It was exhausted, but I was exhausted too. Tired of the bone, with a cold that dragged to infinity. But above all, in front of a big abyss without an exit that threatened to suck me up.
At that time, they challenged me to a friend, both successful managers, with the question: “Who talks about collaborative leadership?” I thanked them for the initiative and asked them for help, for a common reflection on how to proceed. In the vortex of happenings, I needed a break from the situation for a new strategic reflection, and I felt I couldn’t handle it.
I got all sweaty in the meeting place, because the heat was cooking, and I was suffocated in cough. The whole way I wondered what I was going to do, what I expect from this meeting. We asked for state aid seven months ago and since then the situation in society has deteriorated considerably. The management logic in me has given me a clear answer that the situation is no longer resoluable, solidarity and a sense of responsibility to the employees he told me that I must insist on fighting. Of course, I was also asked what it would be if I confessed to defeat. What will happen to the employees, what will happen to me.
I think I was personally at that moment at the lowest point, in a difficult dilemma between the senses of duty to employees and a sense of accountability to state money, torn into question or being fought or quit. I felt a huge burden of responsibility for all the employees who will remain without employment. The conversation helped me to see a bigger picture. Some people will get new jobs. For those who do not have this option, they must take care of other institutions. Economic logic is not that this is done by a company that has no chance of survival.
I went out of the meeting with a clear orientation. In my continued activities, greater calmness has been settled, because I have begun to think about how to make the most of healthy cores and to keep the employees as optimal as possible for bankruptcy and new routes after bankruptcy. My example was a pilot of a plane that landed on the Hudson River. When he made sure all the passengers were rescued, he left the plane. Unlike the master of the cruise ship Concordia, who left the sinking ship in the first.
I was with the employees of the bitter end, together we organized the last lunch in the company and together with them I went to the Employment Institute. I felt, of course, a lot of bitterness that I failed the first mission for which I came to the company, but I managed to at least take bankruptcy in such a way that people kept their dignity and we protected both employees and assets of the company and thus the creditors.
I started my third career after the bankruptcy. Now I’m a developer of modern leadership. I described my story in the Book of Leadership : Leadership and collaboration, power and responsibility, which is of course the first Slovenian book on leadership. The book is also a fraction of my cleaning that made the room for new learning.
On the new development route I began to deepen the background of the need for importance, otherness, to be the first, proving that I can handle it. The heavy bankruptcy experience was on a completely different pole, the opposite bank of success. It’s obviously my way to learn from contradictions and build a bridge of understanding. I build a bridge to proper behavior in the new era. I build a bridge between male and female energy. I build a bridge between the old school of leadership and modern leadership. The new knowledge is spread through workshops, lectures, counselling, coaching, through the Book the Energy Inside Leadership, through the blog you are reading and Also through ideas for the leadersthat subscribers receive free of charge every week. Without the experience of development, growth, winning successes and victories, and heavy trials of bankruptcy, without understanding both banks, success and failure, they would not be able to do so comprehensively. This is why learning from contradictions is very important to me, but it is even more crucial that I use this knowledge to build bridges, to connect and collaborate.